On the journey to becoming a pediatric clinical psychologist
By Natalie Godinez UA’27 and Jim Stellar
As I begin writing on our first blog, my blue weighted dinosaur named Purple is seated on my lap. I look at him, he looks at my computer, and it clicks: Purple symbolizes connection. While I may currently be a young adult, and that connection is not quite the same anymore, the reason for my fondness towards stuffed animals stems from being given many as a child.
Young Natalie had an army of stuffed animals, each uniquely named and cared for like newborn children. Current college student Natalie has continued preserving most of that army. It comes as no shock to me or my family to know that one of the first things I did upon moving into my dorm at UAlbany was place about 10 stuffed animals on my bed, without hesitation. Now I certainly own more stuffed animals, but after two semesters of college, I also possess something arguably more important: the knowledge of the career I wish to pursue. While the decision certainly wasn’t a simple one, and it was further shaped by various courses I’ve since taken, I am now on the journey to become a pediatric clinical psychologist. And who knows- perhaps along the way I’ll acquire more stuffed animals. You can never have too many.
This is a very cute and valuable story as it alludes to something deeper, decision processing and the importance of making career decisions as a young adult. How do you think the brain circuits that you were developing as a child, related to stuffed animals, influenced your thinking now as a young adult?
Looking back, some of the secure attachments I possessed as a child were naturally to stuffed animals. The more my needs were met by my stuffed animals, the more I was able to think ‘I am capable, I can do this, and when I go home, I can play with my stuffed animals again.’ This simple interaction between younger me and my stuffed animals perhaps led to the neural connections in my brain between my amygdala and prefrontal cortex to strengthen. They are parts of the brain responsible for processing intense emotions and regulating intense emotions, respectively. Ultimately, I think it leads to the older me possessing comforting and nostalgic stuffed animals and having an intricate knowledge of connections to my emotions.
This is likely given that the older evolutionary circuits of which you write are likely in the limbic system. The limbic system has the capacity to learn even though the cognitive you that lives in your higher and evolutionarily newer neocortical brain circuits does not have the kind of access to what formed in your brain and memory when you were a child. The point is that the cognitive you may not know why the emotional you is attached. Now my question for the cognitive you writing this blog with me is why do you think you want to be a pediatric clinical psychologist?
I definitely agree, while I do consciously value the associated memories, I do not recall the exact emotional experiences that occurred during my childhood to cause such a strong connection and sense of security. Perhaps this unseen connection is part of why I wish to choose pediatric psychology as my post-graduate training.
I want to become a pediatric clinical psychologist because it is a good crosssection between my personal life experiences and academic passions. I believe this job to be a perfect fit because it challenges me, allows my personal experiences to become more meaningful, and gives me the privilege to help children in establishing their own healthy connections.
Have you heard of Ericson’s stage of Trust-Mistrust, which occurs in early childhood? There is a study that seems to show it has consequences for later behavior. Perhaps you learned to trust the stuffed animals, as seen when you describe your “secure attachment” to them. What do you think about that?
I certainly know about Erickson’s stages of psychosocial development, I attribute most of that knowledge to my AP Psychology teacher. Nonetheless, when I was about 1 I was developing trust primarily in my parents, rather than stuffed animals. However, I believe as a result of my mother taking fantastic care of me, one of the things that naturally resulted was that I also learned to trust the stuffed animals and care for them.
This was foreseen by Erickson when he coined the term psychosocial crisis, but in my case, I avoided it entirely and moved regularly from trust vs. mistrust into other stages. I learned to trust that my parents would always be there, how to dress myself, and I began making friends and even painting, among other things. Regarding the study you mentioned above on consequences, it offers important scientific data consistent with my childhood experiences! More specifically, non-adopted youth showed a higher tendency to trust, shown by their choice to share coins with other children, and a lower tendency to participate in the lottery. Personally, I do believe my parents’ care for me as a newborn positioned me for success later in life by preventing long-term biases in trust and decision-making. The key example of this being my confidence in my stuffed animals.
