Trauma sticking to the body
By Natalie Seow and Jim Stellar
Note: This post is written by Natalie. I (JS) participated in some light editing, particularly on the neuroscience points at the end. But this post is her thinking and writing and I want to acknowledge that here. Usually blog posts are collaborative writing projects, and Natalie and I have fully collaborated on a past blog. But here it organically turned out different, though it does have a cognitive-emotion integration component that is a general theme of this blog series. I really like it, and I decided (with her) to post it this way with this small note. – Jim
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By Natalie Seow
As children, we can’t seem to want anything more but to grow up. Yet, the lens of a child is so pure … until the real world greets them. And for some reason, this current theme in society where adults want to rediscover their inner child or even simply keep the child-like mind alive prevails. But this desire is more complex than it may seem, some may need to give themselves permission to channel their childhood and re-experience certain moments and emotions. Many individuals grappling with the recollection of memories often exhibit manifestations indicative of unresolved abandonment issues derived from traumatic experiences.
Years ago, I came to realize how abandonment issues had been a silent passenger accompanying me through my journey of development and into adulthood. There are so many layers to abandonment issues that it comes down to categorizing which defense mechanisms you have developed to combat the type of abuse or trauma experienced. I would love to share my experience as we continue, to understand the intricate interplay of trauma within the human experience, acknowledging its universality while appreciating its deeply personal and unique impact on each individual.
Although the development of abandonment issues can occur at any age, the majority of cases start during individuals’ childhood. Estimates from the National Center of Child Abuse and Neglect have revealed that nearly 1.5 million children are confirmed to be mistreated each year in the United States, although most authorities consider this an underestimation. Of these cases, approximately 700,000 involved sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. Additionally, a larger percentage of children lose one or both parents or live with a parent who is not able to provide continuous care. Now these terms are labeled in the language that may seem overwhelming or severe, but traumas can flourish in many different forms.
Maybe you experienced emotional neglect as a child. Picture this, you’re a teenager learning about something you find aligns with your being and you try to express this to your parents and they: A. do not show any interest and make you feel unheard or unvalued, B. disagree with your perspective and try to dominate your mindset. These are both repetitive behaviors that can cause childhood trauma responses. Now, let’s expand on option B. Now, imagine your parents don’t respect your opinion and get angered by the fact that they cannot convince you to live life the way they want, so they begin to ignore you for days. You have upset them, so they choose to walk past you for days, only speaking to you when necessary, making this moment of expression build into something distasteful. Teenage you, neglected when there is a disagreement. Does this remind you of a pattern in your relationship with your family? If so, you might have debilitated changes in the brain and different psychiatric developments.
In connection with these real-life scenarios, you might encounter feelings of abandonment akin to separation anxiety. This behavioral consistency allows one to gain a sense of emotional impermanence, where one may feel they are not truly loved and cannot fathom being unconditionally loved by people in close or intimate relationships. Rather than communicating, you may pull away from relationships, if you sense something is off, as a way to defend yourself. These are only a few of the barriers we begin to build as we navigate life’s challenges, allowing these painful experiences to simmer and shape our perceptions.
If this moment is unfolding a multitude of uncertain petals in your mind, refrain from seeing them as withered or beyond repair. I have been there and with a lot of cognitive consciousness and healing, I have found a different place for these experiences and still know there is more for me to learn as I experience the everchanging seasons of life. One of the first places I like to look to better understand my emotions and actions is the brain! When I found that scientists are discovering that early maltreatment, even exclusively psychological abuse, has enduring negative effects on brain development, it allowed for more patience and understanding of the mind-body connection.
Yes, the younger brain is very susceptible to change. Let’s look at this fact in the present moment: the traumatic experiences that provoke various chemical reactions in our brains that result in anxieties and PTSD are all subject to change. One may engage in more cognitive consciousness, activating synaptic flow and changing brain structures and functional organization, strengthening your decision making and neuroplasticity throughout the brain. These are all positive attributes that the brain provides for itself and us! Now, let’s look at our brain during its developmental stages, where the traumatic experiences may have started to begin.
Through extensive research endeavors, specific regions of the brain have been identified as exhibiting developmental deficits in individuals who have endured childhood trauma and/or abuse. Quoting from the article above, they are:
- Limbic irritability manifested by markedly increased prevalence of symptoms observing parallel outcomes in animals and people has bolstered our belief that trauma causes brain damage, not the other way around. The result is a cerebrum suggestive of temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE) and by an increased incidence of clinically significant EEG (brain wave) abnormalities. aka trauma influences limbic system dysfunctions or changes in neurological development.
- Deficient development and differentiation of the left hemisphere, manifested throughout the cerebral cortex and the hippocampus, which is involved in memory retrieval.
- Deficient left-right hemisphere integration, indicated by marked shifts in hemispheric activity during memory recall and by underdevelopment of the middle portions of the corpus callosum, the primary pathway connecting the two hemispheres.
- Abnormal activity in the cerebellar vermis (the middle strip between the two hemispheres of the brain), which appears to play an important role in emotional and attentional balance and regulates electrical activity within the limbic system.
Dealing with past traumas in the present time can create this feeling of an everlasting spiral staircase that we must walk up. Understanding that traumatic experiences, or experiences in general, can alter brain function helps me cultivate patience with myself and others when addressing my abandonment issues. I can transform moments of frustration with my limbic system or memory retrieval patterns into acceptance, recognizing that the brain is conditioned to protect itself during traumatic times.
The hippocampus is one area, involved in memory and emotion, that is targeted in many trauma-based studies, where studies have shown that the hippocampus, situated bilaterally in the medial temporal lobe, is replete with glucocorticoid receptors and is on the receiving end of the stress hormone cascade. This specific receptor of glucocorticoids plays many roles in our brain function, but particularly plays a key role in restoring homeostasis following exposure to stress. So, when undergoing these stressful or traumatic situations in our life, we receive repeated hits to this receptor system which then results in atrophy, that is reduced development of neurons and their connections (neurogenesis and synaptogenesis). We are overworking this part of the brain during this developmental moment in life, which doesn’t just alter the hippocampus but areas of the brain that require connectivity to this region.
Further, cells in the hippocampus have an unusually large number of receptors that respond to the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol is an essential hormone that is vital for your bodily function, including regulating your body’s stress response. Youth that develop post-traumatic stress symptoms have higher levels of cortisol than youth without trauma history. Increased fearful vigilance and anxiety in a threatening environment can be adaptive in the short term, yet under chronic stress, persistent activation may become maladaptive. Emerging evidence suggests that repeat traumatic exposure may evoke different responses in the stress system machinery, leading to the prevailing theory that stress-related endocrine function may be dependent upon trauma type and duration.
Fitting with this understanding, combat-related PTSD is associated with reductions in hippocampal volume in humans, a finding that has now been replicated more than 20 times. These data reveal a tight association between response to trauma and hippocampal integrity.
I choose to highlight this part of the brain due to its significance in our daily lives and its impact on individuals who have experienced stressful situations and may have suppressed memories. This focus is essential as we embark on this journey of rediscovery. The repetition of high-stress environments causes our brain to create these defense mechanisms and changes the pathway of development, limiting our recall and memory retrieval. Our brain creates these walls to protect us from becoming overstimulated, but also to maintain a regulatory functioning during your developmental stages. Similarly to our present being, remembering moments from our past may be difficult, our long term memory may be altered, but there are ways to work towards unlocking these repressed memories. One way is to surround yourself with stimuli that are associated with a moment in your life, also referred to as exposure therapy. I’ve made it a goal to go through our old family photos stored at my parents’ home. I often struggle to remember much of my childhood, which has made me feel inadequate, especially when meeting people who can vibrantly recall their childhood memories. However, by working to understand my body and brain’s response to past traumas and actively seeking new ways to engage my hippocampus, I’ve found this process to be rewarding.
Although this journey relies on the result of unity it still requires an individualistic approach. Focusing on healing the limbic system seems essential, in addition to addressing your social and psychological aspects of life. The areas listed above, including the hippocampus, are areas making up the limbic system. The limbic system acts as our internal alarm or decider and can make it difficult to work alongside your prefrontal cortex when it comes to responses. Finding a way to regulate the limbic system, so we don’t remain on ‘high’ alert, can help us improve our way of life. The way we address ourselves and others. I am working towards helping my physical temple grow in ways that it should’ve when I was developing, much like nurturing a tree to flourish after years of neglect. And trust me growing pains are real, but that’s what truly living means. I am excited to share my journey alongside others. The human experience can feel overwhelming and out of our hands, but there is beauty in that. Regulating the limbic system is key to nurturing emotional and psychological well-being. In my journey to find balance, I’ve discovered several methods that are both scientifically proven and deeply transformative. I would love to share methods that have been clinically proven to help relieve the limbic system. Being open and listening to your body’s response is all that is needed, some methods that might not work for me may work for you! Soon, certain habits will create a ripple effect, spreading positive changes throughout your life. They are:
- Mindfulness Meditation: focusing attention on the present moment and accepting it without judgment in a safe space. It can reduce amygdala reactivity and increase prefrontal cortex activity, leading to better emotional regulation.
- Conscious Breathing Exercises: controlled deep breathing can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relation and regulation. Methods like box breathing, especially in high stress situations can help change response patterns. It has been shown to reduce limbic system activity and enhance prefrontal cortex over emotional responses.
Soon, certain habits will create a ripple effect, spreading positive changes throughout your life. Thank you for being here with me!
