Mentoring and Being Mentored
Catherine Nunez NU’08 and Jim Stellar
Katie was a student with whom I connected at Northeastern. Recently, she wrote me this great e-mail which included the following key observations about mentoring:
Personally, I credit collegiate peer to peer mentoring and counseling to opening my eyes to a passion that I never knew existed within me as a freshman at Northeastern University. I was granted an opportunity to join a peer mentoring program called Legacy, which focused on mentoring freshman Black and Latino students as they transitioned into university life.
I myself was blessed with two amazing parents who deeply value higher education, although they never had the opportunity to pursue it for themselves. They encouraged and supported me in every way they could to ensure that I could go to college. However, despite their love and support, they were unable to provide the kind of information and guidance a student may need as they matriculate through their university system. Legacy provided this to me through a peer mentor and a passionate program leader. My mentor was able to shed light on how best to negotiate with a professor, how to avoid lines at the cafeteria, what pertinent information I needed to know from academics, university life, sports programs, internships, research opportunities, experiential learning, etc. and the list could continue. What is important to understand from this type of support system is that everything is up for discussion providing myself and other students with a safety net and an outlet to access information that I, and many others, would not even know existed.
I think back to how I have been able to impact my own mentees and their academic/professional development. I always think of one particular mentee, who came to me through Legacy. He was a bright and eager young student without a stable home life, parents whom he couldn’t count on emotionally nor financially, etc. I counseled him throughout his tenure at Northeastern. Anything from which classes to take, assisting with homework and research, assisting him with healthcare questions, how to deal with friendships and girlfriends, work/life balance, experiential learning opportunities, etc. He, in fact, won the Presidential Scholarship in 2009, which I had received in 2005, and my mentor had received a few years earlier than I. He was so proud to tell me that he would carry the torch on to his mentees, which one of them was awarded the Presidential Scholarship last year! Even after I moved 3000 miles away, we stayed connected, and he would reach out to me with questions and for assistance. Last year he graduated and I flew from California to Boston to support him. I have never been more proud, even at my own graduation, than to attend his ceremony and cheer for him and his fellow classmates as they received their degrees. It remains to this day, one of my crowning achievements to support him in his success and his development into an amazing man. To this day, I am still his mentor, and I continue to support him, guide him as best I can as he grows into the professional he is seeking to be.
These experiences cause me to pause and often ask myself, would I have been as successful without mentors across the board? And the answer to that is, perhaps, but the road would have been even more difficult and tumultuous.
Having the opportunity to counsel working class students since I graduated coupled with my involvement in peer-to peer mentoring at Northeastern has helped in recognizing within myself a love of counseling and supporting students in their education and success. I know that obtaining my Masters in Counseling with a focus on Student Development in Higher Education is where my future truly lies. It is a future that is not based on impending riches, but one based on helping others. That is something that inspires me, knowing that I have helped someone with a need, big or small.
Notice in this writing the high impact practice of both being a mentor and receiving mentorship. Katie, why do you think that happens in a two-way street?
The idea of mentorship, or a relationship based on guidance and support, has been utilized by all societies. It is a concept based an investment in future social dividends. Mentorship creates a network that provides outlets to/for information and emotional support, avenues to express one’s thoughts and ideas, and a center for guidance and counseling individuals. For me it is a “safe space” where I can ask questions privately from a trusted, usually well-informed source. I have found that my mentorship-based relationships have been some of the most emotionally enriched, long-term connections. Ideally, the mentor relationship provides comfort to its participants because of their mentor’s/mentee’s ability to understand the social lens of their mentor/mentee allowing for more understanding and growth within all parties.
Most importantly, all parties see positive results in a short amount of time, which increases emotional ties to one another. Almost all participants believe they are greater as a symbiotic organization than as individuals, having separate strengths shared among one another for the benefit of all. The mentor has the opportunity to witness someone’s academic, professional, and personal development, and the mentee, through guidance, experiences this growth in an environment of support. As a mentor, the fact that my energies and efforts have a poignant, direct impact on someone else, which can be observed in real time, is one of the most emotionally rewarding parts of the relationship. It is a result that does not take an inordinate amount of time and indulges the parts of the brain that respond to emotion quickly and effectively. This, I would argue encourages the relationship in a way that provides strength and trust among those who do not come from what society has taught us to be the “traditional family” network.
It has been my experience that the trust between mentors and mentees is fortified by ever-helpful shared pieces of advice, time dedicated to someone else’s success, and mutual support through challenges and triumphs. The relationship is one built on mutual goals and actions of support. And the roles of mentor and mentee are not fixed but rather depend on time, place, and circumstance. It should not be forgotten that all parties continuously learn lessons, and as the speed of information dissemination increases, so do these opportunities to learn and grow. It is because of this that I continue to participate in mentorship, the emotional rewards are high, and my energies make a difference and impact someone else’s life in a positive manner. What more could someone else ask for?
Katie and I are now talking about student engagement as a transformative process, particularly in diverse populations, and we may write another blog post about that topic. But notice here how the engagement both as a mentee and a mentor is riddled throughout her writing. This effect is typical of what we can call in this blog as an other-lobe-of-the-brain phenomenon. The affect associated with a limbic decision to engage leads to energy and commitment but it also bleeds into other activities and takes on that “infections” quality. To borrow a phrase from previous writing, the “neuroeconomics” of commitment is more than just a focus on the “purchase” of the major field of study by the effort of the student. It gets to be more general and shows up in many places. That may be the greatest gift of mentoring (and to the mentor as well).
